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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Valeria Spates Valeria Spates 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #519
    Profile photo of Tricia Duckworth
    Tricia Duckworth
    Keymaster

    Domestic violence is a violent and or aggressive behavior that typically occurs in the home, it involves the violent abuse of a spouse or a partner. It can certainly cause a traumatic experience for the victim and children. It is a physical and or sexual assault in which the abuser takes control by sustaining power over the victim. Psychological intensity, emotional force and physical aggression are also included in the description of domestic violence. Many women in this country lives have been taken away from their children and family due to a spouse or partner committing this crime. Millions of children have witness domestic violence in their homes. They have been traumatized, troubled, and difficult to handle due to behavior issues and low self-esteem.

    I was that child who experience DV in the home. Let me share with you how it affected my life. It made me angry, I was traumatized. When I grew up and got married, I was a controlling wife, because I didn’t feel safe in my home growing up, that made it difficult for me to trust that my husband would keep me safe. I was argumentative, belligerent and at times just evil. See, I wanted to make sure my husband knew I wasn’t going to let him treat me the way my dad treated my mother. Although, my husband and my dad are totally dissimilar, I was preparing myself just in case. We all have some type of baggage going into a marriage, some more than others, however, I didn’t want to admit that I had so much luggage going into mines.

    Wise women, what I’m trying to convey is that we can go through many traumatic experiences in our lives that will have a major affect on those so dear to us if we choose not to deal with it.

    For a very long time, I did not recognize what I was doing to my husband and our marriage. Yes, God told me, but I did not want to listen. When I got sick and tired of going through the same old stuff over and over again, I finally asked God what am I doing wrong, I was ready to pay close attention….

    I had to be delivered from the pain my dad caused and I had to forgive him.  I couldn’t “no” longer blame my husband for my dad’s actions and I had to trust God to heal me and my marriage.

    Wise women, for those of you that are married or have been married before share a traumatic event you may have experience as a child that you brought into the relationship with your husband which affected your marriage and family.

    Let’s Chat About It.

  • #521
    Profile photo of Keshia Wright
    Keshia Wright
    Participant

    Good read. I can’t say I lived in a household that was violent between my parents it was issues between me and my mom. It was just confusion. I saw my parents argue but never really resolving anything. They just kept it moving. I in turn did the same thing in my first marriage. I was very controlling and we were always arguing about nothing. We did separate twice. The last time it was for good. This was not what I wanted for my life and my family but I did not have anyone there advising me on how to be a wife. I believe as a people we all want the same basic things in life. Love, respect, honesty amongst other things. Unfortunately we do not know how to go about it. If we seek wisdom and get understanding we can create the lives we have all been looking for. I believe that if we stay connected as wise women we can get all that we need.

  • #526
    Profile photo of Valeria Spates
    Valeria Spates
    Participant

    Thank you ladies for sharing.

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